"i started off the night with Tequilla shots. Then i drank a 36oz glass of Rum and coke before the Tequilla shots kicked in, and when they kicked in they kicked my butt. As soon as we got dressed we took off to the party and then i had about four more beers.
"We had also filled these waterbottles full of liquor we stole from our parents and when we got there we started to hit the bottles. we drank goldschlager, jose cuervo, and a couple of shots of jack... i finished my 20-oz bottle of mixed liquor, who knows what the fuck was in there, every single kind of shitty liquor in my dad's liquor cabinet, and i took my brother's bottle and finished that. We got so drunk.
"i remember the next hour and a half or so.
"Since we were drunk we started randomly ringing people's doorbells. To our surprise we looked over and saw my friend's boyfriend making out with some girl, so we had a plan to get him back. We went over to him and got him to come out to my friends truck for some freaky action. After some threesome activity the alcohol had the best of him and he passed out.
"i see my date trying to stand up but only managing to hit each door on either side of her as she continues to yell in her babble. She rolled off the couch and laid face first on the floor where she started puking.
"After picking her up i placed her over the toilet and started to clean her stain when i heard an unusual sound from the bathroom. A wheeeewww.....thump wheeewww...thump. While she's peeing, this drunk guy stumbles up to her and says "Oh, so you can pee here?" We died laughing and left him to do his duty. Eventually she either passed out or got a concusion and laid there on the floor. i then covered her with a blanket and pillow hoping she was done for the night.
"Later on i puked up all i drank in the middle of the street and had to be carried home by one of the lady's friends who we were staying with. i stayed up til 6 am playing video games with a kid on my hall checking every 15 minutes that she was still breathing.
"The next morning i awoke to a drunken girl holding her panties out telling me my faucet must have a leak. By the way Bill, if your reading this I want my thong back!"